If you’re feeling like you don’t have a support system and are struggling to cope, know that you’re not alone. Unfortunately, we live in a world where many people feel lost and without the support they need.
I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone. – Robin Williams
Not everyone has a strong support system they can rely on. Whether because you don’t have the people, the people don’t understand, or the people don’t lift your spirits in the way that you want or need.
But there is hope — there are still things that you can do to help yourself through these hard times. Life is hard. And it can feel even harder when you’re navigating challenges alone.
The good news is there are steps you can take, no matter how isolated or overwhelmed you may feel.
Uplifting Messages
One key strategy is to seek out optimistic, positive, upbeat sources of guidance and inspiration. Whether it’s a persuasive or uplifting TED talk, a helpful self-help book, or a motivating podcast, there are many avenues for finding uplifting hopeful voices that resonate with us on a deep level — like a core truth level.
Random words in a podcast, or on YouTube land sometimes EXACTLY how we need them to (it’s spooky how the messages find us when we need them to). We just have to be a little proactive to seek out the positive influences sometimes (like actually logging in, or putting it in the search bar, lol). Self-help blogs, Instagram accounts, and online support groups offer ways to learn from or connect with others who are going through similar struggles. By tapping into these resources, we can gain the strength and perspective we need to overcome obstacles and stay motivated on our journey.
You just never know how the words, images, or messages will land, or what they will spark.
Find the people you admire. The cool people who speak to your soul and follow them. The aspirational parts of yourself that you’re growing into or exploring in your own life. What excites you? What are you interested in? What jazzes you up or gets your juices flowing? Find those people.
Develop a Positive Mindset
When you lack a good support system, it can be tough to stay motivated and keep pushing forward. But you also do have the power to motivate and empower yourself.
Be your own cheerleader. Sometimes we really have to boost ourselves up, because no one else will. Practicing kind and motivating self-talk can help us to better handle difficult situations and bounce back from setbacks. It’s empowering to know that we have the ability to lift ourselves up.
By choosing to speak to ourselves with kindness and encouragement, we can create an enthusiastic and persuasive inner dialogue. Your brain starts to listen. We can tap into an endless source of helpful energy that can carry us through any challenge. The best part is that empowerment isn’t just a temporary boost, it is an authentic and genuine shift in our mindset that will last for years to come.
Create a mantra or positive affirmation that resonates with you and repeat it daily.
Examples:
So Hum
Sat Nam
Hakuna Matata
This Too Shall Pass
Let it Be
Just Keep Swimming
We Can Do Hard Things
Try variations on positive self-talk by saying affirmations:
- Out loud (in the shower or car).
- By using your first name like you’re talking to yourself (Shannon, you are a badass).
- By using your first name like you’re talking about yourself (Shannon is fabulously cool).
- By looking into a mirror.
- By making eye contact as you say the affirmation.
Notice what comes up for you with each variation. Notice how your energy shifts. Notice any resistance you feel. Or INCREASES in negativity. Explore the variations and their energetic signatures.
Find ways to be enthusiastic about your goals, and successes (even the small ones).
What are 10 things you’re proud of yourself for doing?
Examples:
- Caught myself in a negative thought loop.
- Made my bed today.
- Wrote a Medium piece today.
- Listened to my intuition.
- Conscious of what foods I’m choosing today (even though I literally had a slice of pie for breakfast).
Okay, that’s me today so far.
I have 5 more to think about. 10 can feel like a stretch. But I know I can get there by the end of today.
Remember, you are strong and capable, and with the right mindset and a little nudging, you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Journaling can be very powerful, and can help with processing.
A gratitude practice can be very powerful.
Just taking a few minutes out of your day to focus on what you’re grateful for. 3 things every day for 30 days.
Or, you can also try the gratitude rampage, useful for when you’re in a bit of a funk. Start naming things you’re thankful for until you feel your energy shift (e.g. coffee, sunshine, my bed, my dogs, Netflix, indoor plumbing, penicillin, etc.).
Practice Self-Care
Taking care of yourself is one of the most important things you can do. This can mean different things to different people — taking a warm bath, or spending time in nature. Whatever it is that makes you feel calm and centered, make sure you’re taking time to do it regularly. When you’re taking care of your own needs, you’ll feel more resilient and better able to cope with stress.
Celebrate Your Strengths
It’s important to celebrate the things that make you uniquely strong and capable. We all have strengths and skills that we bring to the table, even if we don’t always feel like we do. Take some time to reflect on the things that you’re good at and make a list of your accomplishments (big or small). When you’re feeling down or discouraged, revisit this list to remind yourself of all the things you’ve already accomplished.
Do things that make you HAPPY.
Maybe you don’t have a lot of room in your life to change things, or shift things (hey, it happens). But what CAN you do?
For me, it sounds simple — but there was a time when just looking at beautiful images helped me to see the beauty in the world again. And at that time, it was incredibly powerful in my life.
Or can you change your environment in any way?
Examples:
Spotify music to fill your home?
A scented candle or diffuser?
Coral reef screensaver? Crittercam of playful sea otters?
Fresh sheets?
Clean room/ house?
And — in terms of general well-being –
I think that when you’re feeling alone, lonely, or like you don’t have the support you would want — I think that it’s even more important to take care of yourself.
You have to invest in yourself and your overall well-being.
Because if you don’t it can wear you down — mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.
Lifestyle changes
Small lifestyle changes can boost serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins — which can help you feel more positive overall. Changes like exercise, adequate sleep, and meditation can create a significant difference in your energy levels and mood.
Sunlight — is super necessary.
Eating foods rich in amino acids, such as turkey and salmon can have a positive effect on serotonin and dopamine. By putting the effort into behavior change on the front end, you are taking control of your mood.
And — while this article was about what you can do without a support system — you may want to consider your current reality as an opportunity to seek out new connections and resources.
We are wired for connection. On a human level, and a neurological level.
And yes, there are ways that even introverts can stretch in this direction. You can seek out online communities where you can connect with like-minded individuals who will provide a genuine and authentic source of support.
Don’t be afraid to reach out and connect with others when you need a boost. You never know what kind of helpful advice or encouragement you might find!
It’s not always easy or comfortable — and it can take time to invest in new relationships. But it’s definitely worth it in the end — particularly when you have a community that is enthusiastic and motivating you to pursue your goals. Genuine human connections will empower you to pursue your dreams and succeed in all areas of life.
ALSO — as a follow up to my HOW TO post-traumatic growth article: Many people, and many families, don’t understand mental health, or trauma. So, if you’re in that boat — feeling isolated and misunderstood by your people — it’s pretty common (therapists can help).
It can be tough to feel like you’re going it alone, but there are plenty of ways you can encourage yourself even if you don’t have a strong support system. No matter what challenges come your way, remember that you have the power to motivate and empower yourself. You’ve got this!
Please know that you are not alone. You’ve read this article; you now know a little about my ethos. If you need some support from a kind person — please message me. I’m a real human, lol. You’re not alone.
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